Hollylooyah

2008-05-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

If I ever have to go to prison, I can only hope that the recreational coordinator is as brilliant as the one at this prison!

Redemption through disco!

2008-04-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

I think CPS is overreaching with the FLDS people. I've thought it from the beginning, and I think it now. If I had been CPS in Texas, I would have done these things BEFORE I came in and took babies from their mothers:

1. Send a notice to every person on the YFZ ranch stating WHAT the law is, as it stands. Give the state and federal laws that may apply to them- spanking or physical abuse laws, bigamy laws, and marriage statutes. Tell the people WHAT the consequences of violations are, and that they will be enforced.

2. Then have a "town meeting" with the local sheriff, townspeople, and CPS workers.

3. Investigate each situation completely, and do the DNA testing ON the ranch or as a day trip. Coordinate the DNA tests with photos, family photos and genealogy trees and Ranch records.

4. Then, and only then, take the children who are still in unsuitable homes.

Don't get me wrong... I am TOTALLY against forced marriage of underage girls. I think in no uncertain terms the underage marriages needs to stop. I think they should enforce the laws, even bigamy. But to go in and take ALL the children when so few were products of underage marriages is ridiculous. That's like taking all the kids in Littleton, Colorado to foster care because a few parents produced mass murderers.

The FLDS is strange, but this seems excessive. I feel so sorry for the kids.

CPS has WAY too much power in America (or at least in some states)... When it comes to CPS a lot of constitutional rights do NOT apply. The laws are pretty invasive and the case loads of workers is insane. The goal is to protect children, but honestly there are SO many American children that are worse off than these kids it's pathetic.

If someone calls your home a "compound," watch out because your constitutional rights are about to go down the tubes!

Video of FLDS Parents

Honestly, who knows what to believe in this situation. But doesn't it seem like the FLDS are an easy target?

2008-04-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

I thought people might be interested in knowing about other polygamists in America. I am blown away with how "normal" some of these people are! I still feel sorry for the kids though because how could you be as close to your dad this way. Anyway, enjoy the link...

This is SO interesting! Oh and keep a look out for the drinking fountain in the kitchen! That's a pretty good idea actually... it would cut down on dishes!

Plural Family in Salt Lake City

2008-04-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

I just had to post that Lucy is officially walking now. She is so cute! She pushes a little hippo that I bought her at a yard sale last summer... it's fun to see her finally use it.

Andy had his first t-ball game and hit the longest drive (is that what they call it in t-ball?) of the team! He's really into hitting things hard, so t-ball's great for him.

Noah is so cute and yesterday came up to me and matter of factly stated, "You might like going in a Zumble-zay." This was his adorable way of asking me to read Marvin K. Mooney to him.

So our house is COMPLETELY torn up... we've got 12 different paint samples on the walls, things in storage boxes, furniture pushed aside... it is a complete and total mess. Because we are starting the process of spring cleaning and redecorating/freshening things up. We've not done this for *a while* so it's *pressing*.

It's fun to think about. I'm going totally cheap these days... I'm planning on buying an Ikea Ektorp sofa, loveseat, and chair (don't know which pattern yet). I am also buying an armoire (for a homeschool nook) and painting a bunch of our existing furniture. We're going to make Noah a little learning area, sensory area, and playroom out of our *primitive* basement! And then Lucy will have her own room, but that won't be until summer. I still like having her with us, and really she's not having it any other way right now... oops! So we're repainting the living room, dining room, kitchen, and stairs/hall area. The other rooms upstairs might get refreshed, but that's not until later. Then it's deep cleaning, organizing and steam cleaning all the furniture and carpets. I might even try to clean the outsides of these ridiculously difficult to clean old windows... we'll see.

So, we'll be busy!

I'm giving myself a deadline of a month because we'll be having lots of company over Memorial Day! I'd like to sit back and enjoy it.

2008-04-16T18:56:00.001-07:00

No comment

2008-04-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

I found an answer about the Creation/Evolution debate in Orthodox terms. This is what I believe too... and I didn't have to go and write it all... I can just Cut and Paste!

The Holy Orthodox Church teaches that the Old Testament's purpose is NOT to record literal history, but to explain the relationship of God and man. What is critical to our Faith is in the Creed and all it says about Creation is that God the Father is the Creator of Heaven and Earth, and of all things visible and invisible and that He did so through His Son, Christ Jesus. It does not say, nor does it require us to know HOW God created, but simply to know that God created.

All this controversy has arisen in relatively recent times because of the Protestant concept of Sola Scriptura. When they discarded the wisdom of Holy Tradition, all they were left with was the Bible itself and this creates a certain logical dilemma: with nothing concrete to guide you, how do you know what is literal and which is not, unless you treat it ALL as literal? Orthodoxy, happily, does not have that problem to contend with. We can freely accept the Old Testament as largely allegorical or even "legend" in the sense as expressed by the noted Anglican theologian G. K. Chesterton who wrote: "A legend as a matter of fact ought to be treated more respectfully than a book of history. The legend is generally made by the majority in the village who are sane. The history book is generally written by the one man in the village who is mad."

Holy Scripture is not a history book, it is so much more than that. As the Holy Apostle Paul writes in 2 Timothy 3:15-17 "and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Not a word about "history" is there? Even if Holy Scripture is NOT a history book, doesn't it accomplish the above anyway?

I used to be concerned about this too, for the very reasons you state, but time and patience has allowed me to see what the Church seems to say: don't get too worked up over the things that things are NOT critical to salvation, work on the things that are.

Your servant,
Herman

Here's a follow up answer too. I'm not sure I think that ALL young earth creationists think the way Herman thinks they might... but I think many do.

It looks like you are probably better read on the topic than I am. I am not sure how much more I can add to the subject, other than to say that the debate is not really about "evolution" per se, but about God, because the "young earth" people have managed to allow "scienceism" the philosophical high ground. The atheists have been allowed to reduce the terms of the debate to: "if there is evolution there can be no God, if there is God, there can be no evolution". We have attempted to place God into a box, which you and I know is impossible. Since the terms of the debate are flawed, then the debate itself is flawed. Orthodoxy teaches that this is NOT about God against science, it is about science trying to explain something that it has no business doing. God created science but is outside Creation. Math is the language with which God wrote the Universe. His Will is what makes the physical laws of science constant. Science is fine and dandy at explaining Creation, but that which is Uncreated is beyond the ability for the scientific method to explain or prove. How do we measure God? Science can explain the relationships in a closed ecosphere, but it cannot explain the relationship between man and God. The Bible is not a science or history textbook, it is a textbook about relationships, how man was created in God's image and likeness, but turned away, and how God works through His Creation to call all of it back unto Himself. It is not about HOW we got here, it is about WHY we are where we are and HOW we get BACK to where we need to be. To paraphrase our Lord's words: "Render unto science that which belongs to science, and render unto God, that which belongs to God." As for me, I do not believe that Holy Scripture is a literal documentary of exactly what happened, nor is that it's purpose. I also do not believe that evolution answers all the questions of how we got here in a satisfactory manner. When you try to use something for a purpose it was not meant for, there are problems. The followers of scientism, in my mind, show a much greater "faith" in things unseen by believing that they do NOT exist (and evidently do not exist until they are "discovered") than those of us who prefer to withhold judgement until more evidence is put forward. Who then, has the open mind? Those who refuse to believe anything until it is "proven," or those who accept that things can exist even if we are not aware of them, and that Something can exist outside of Creation?

Sad point of fact for the atheist evolutionists; in their zeal to "believe" in evolution, which is, to point a fact, unproven, they create a more rigid dogma and embark on a greater Inquisition than Torquemada ever dreamed of. They manufacture "facts" and "proofs" at will to justify themselves and to "disprove" God, which makes them no more than modern-day Adams, trying to be BE God. But I suspect I am beginning to ramble.

Your rambling servant,
Herman

I think that this topic alludes to a greater one written about in the current issue of Touchstone. I can't find an online copy of it, but when I do I'll post the link.

Anyway, the article talks about how when we teach our children the infallibility of a church or denomination or set of beliefs... when they grow up and find flaws (as they inevitably will) they will throw it all away. So my goal as a parent (we'll see if I can accomplish this) is to continually point everything back to God. Theology is our best attempt (and I believe often supernaturally driven) to explain the point of the human existence. And generally the older the doctrine is, the longer we've had time to clarify it and throw it out if the churches and councils do not accept it as truth. So new doctrines or interpretations or clarifications take time to become part of the collection of doctrine that we deem to be "truth." It's a huge mistake to teach our children to accept without question our faith. The questions are very important! These questions help children to grow up and make faith their own. It is NEVER wrong for a child or adult to question things. I think it's important even that we question authority over us. I think for too long, I made the mistake of feeling like I needed to accept EVERYTHING an authority over me thought and taught. This is simply not true. And I don't think we should test things simply with scripture as many different interpretations can arise, and it becomes impossible to distinguish people led by the Holy Spirit or people led by their intellect. It also turns us all into judgmental characters forever examining people by their fruit!

And we should NEVER EVER make the mistake of looking to other Christians to prove the authenticity of our own faith... because you know what? They could be acting. And there are some pretty good actors out there!

Anyway, just a thought this morning I had... guess I'd better go prepare for the day! Gotta start school at 9:00! There are so many other people who know so much more than I do on this subject, it seems silly for me even to write my little blog/journal entry about it. But for any of my friends and family who worry or wonder about me... this is my belief system.

2008-04-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

Okay... it disturbs me that students in schools do not have the same constitutional right of no unreasonable searches or seizures. The drug they were looking for when they strip-searched her was prescription Ibuprofen. They found nothing on her body.

The search happened because another student reported her. It would be SO easy for kids to lie!

This really scares me. At the very least, they should seek parental permission first!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/24008841#23981699

2008-03-24T19:50:00.001-07:00

I have been tagged (unless it's another Holly... which is entirely possible... but I think it's me!) by my friend Linda for a game of ten things you might not know about me. So here they are!

1. None of my 3 kids came to me the normal way... two were by C-section via NICU and pancreatectomies and one came via adoption!

2. I love I mean I LOVE watching Monk. I can watch the same episodes again and again. I can also do the same thing with Keeping Up Appearances, but Monk is better. I find the shows extremely relaxing.

3. I am fascinated with people who live differently than me... cults, nudists, people with extreme body modifications and body art, communes, celebrities, people of other religions, people who eat bugs, Hutterites and the Amish, criminals, prisoners, and people from interesting places.

4. I have been trying to lose weight since I was 8.

5. My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.

6. I have run a marathon and walked a marathon.

7. My favorite place in the world is the Trevi Fountain in Rome, Italy.

8. I have furniture with holes in it... but I take nice vacations. Perhaps my priorities are skewed, but I like to think that my kids and husband are only young once and I'd rather play with them than have nice furniture... course if I could have both... I would! Early in our marriage Scott and I decided that we never wanted to say,
"I wish that I had done _________________ but instead I bought a couch!"

9. I am really good at spinning things and reframing them. In other words, I am the ultimate "make lemonade out of lemons" girl. But I have my moments when I think... wait a minute... do I REALLY have lemonade... or have I fooled even myself and I'm sitting here with a big pile of rotten lemons?

10. I love to read. I could read until I turned into a pile of blubbery fat sitting on a chair without enough muscles to prop my body up. Thanks goodness I have kids and a husband to keep me from doing this.

I tag everyone who reads this post! Please post and let me know if you did it or not!

2008-03-06T16:26:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness... Now that was just embarrassing! Ack. It's amazing how fast the house can go from good to bad... And yes, I bought McDonald's for lunch. Ack. Double Ack.

2008-03-06T16:23:00.000-08:00

2008-02-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

I just want to update my tiny miracles blog.

1. Noah has sat at the table for at LEAST five minutes every time we had dinner together which was every day but Wedesday! And we didn't have to fight him. Not even a little bit. He sat and smiled and was a part of the family and the evening. It was wonderful.

2. Noah drank a little water this week and played with licorice so that was good. I'd like to see more... but this is the TINY miracles edition... and I'll take it!

3. Noah has used speech quite a bit this week. I can't remember any unprompted speech this week, but he's been very responsive to me working with him.

4. Noah went two days without acting out towards anybody. But he did have one episode yesterday. Today was another good day.

5. Noah has not had any days with more than two tantrums this week!!! In face today he only had one mild one that I was able to get him out of right away.

6. I have been able to get to sleep by 12:30 every night this week! So that's really great!

7. Lucy hasn't been taking afternoon naps, but Grandma Deanna has been helping me out so I can actually work with Noah again and get school in. I was not able to do that before. And I just have to say what a wonderful relief and pleasure it is to spend so much time with him. He's been working with me wonderfully at the table and has just been a little sweetheart. I love to be able to work with him and when I do, he is so much happier. I think he actually misses doing table work! He loves to have me hold his hand and trace things and read him stories. Whenever it's table work time I turn on the Curious George soundtrack by Jack Johnson and it so pleasant. We just sit side by side and quietly do little lessons like matching blocks and tracing, writing lines and circles on his little mini slate (just like Laura Ingalls), matching the letters of his name, matching butterflies, singing and playing with playdough.

8. Andy has not gotten to 12 yet... but he will!

Overall, this week has been much better than last week. And even though Noah is not going to be able to attend our neighborhood school, I KNOW that he is capable of great growth and maturity in his life. I feel better to know that his abilities are still there and it has reaffirmed to me the need for better training and communication at school. And I am going to make sure that I keep homeschooling him in the afternoons. I can't let myself NOT ask for help! I get to where I feel very proud and I don't want to feel like a charity case, but it's not good for Noah for Scott and I to try to do it by ourselves. He gets lost in the cracks.

Thanks God for the great week and thanks to my small readership for your prayers. I really am feeling peace tonight.

2008-02-11T11:28:00.001-08:00

Update on Project Prayer: Small Miracles Edition

1. Noah had a good day at school.
2. I have one new community resource.

That's it so far. Maybe they will all happen in one week. Just keep praying for small miracles.

2008-02-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

Warning: More SAD stuff about Noah. Don't read if you are going to be depressed.

I have already learned about myself that I am the kind of person known as "Highly Sensitive." This does not refer to how kindly I treat people, but instead to how emotionally connected I am to everything that happens to me. So I take things a bit harder than others, maybe get a little more excited about things than others, and generally have more emotional swings.

Today I realized that being a mother for me is actually pretty painful because of all the crazy emotions motherhood is bringing to me. For example, Noah is probably going to have to leave the school that he has been in now for three months. We figured it would happen from the beginning, but now we know for sure. So obviously that's sad. It's sad that he is disabled and destructive and that he cries and hurts himself. But the thing is: It's not just sad to me. It is devastating. So two nights ago I couldn't sleep until 4:30 in the morning. I hadn't had caffeine. I just lay there in bed feeling the knot of stress over my heart that will not let go.

When I think of it all. It really, really stresses me out. But it's like a hyper-stress too! It's not just stress, it's hyper-stress. And it's mixed in with hyper-happiness, and hyper-EVERYTHING.

On the good side:
1. I am not apathetic.
2. I am not dead.
3. I am fully engaged in my life and in mothering.

On the bad side:
1. I really can't sleep.
2. I can't put enough in to help Noah daily. I need to be able to work with Noah every day, but I can't. This is hard and directly affects my stress level. On days when I can work with Noah, I feel better. On days when I can't work with Noah, I get the hyper-stress knot on my heart and can't sleep. I think somehow my mind is taking a small, daily sadness and turning it into a mini, daily trauma or something.
3. I want motherhood to be happier and calmer... and somehow it keeps getting more stressful.

So what does this mean? I am not really sure, to be honest.

I've been doing some reading on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after reading some studies that found that parents of kids with serious illnesses and injuries can often go through PTSD.

I have checked all the criteria in the DSM-IV and I have the criteria. Is there a new DSM-V yet?

Anyway, I am an open book so I really don't mind if people know how I feel. I think that it's possible that Lucy's hospitalization reopened some of the feelings. But I think I have had these issues since Noah's birth.

So... I need to know what to do. Is this the kind of thing you get over? It's weird because I can be really happy during the day, but at night when everything is quiet and has slowed down... the stress emerges and I can't sleep. I pray and that's good... but the thing is. It's not good to be getting that little sleep that many nights a week.

Sometimes, I feel like I have to pretend that having a kid with special needs isn't any different than having a kids who doesn't have special needs. And mostly, that's true.

When you see the facts:
1. Society does not easily make a place for those who are disabled.
2. Life tends to get harder as kids get older if the level of accommodation doesn't grow with the child.
3. Services get cut, programs change, kids age out of the help that was available when they were younger.
4. My son is disturbingly injuring himself to the point that specialists are being called in and he's going to have to go to another program.

It's tough. And if I could homeschool him, I would. It was great. It was stressful but great. But school has a few things they can offer too. And I need a break. But if it keeps getting worse instead of better, we're going to cut our losses and bring him home again. Hopefully by that time I will be able to focus on him a bit more than now. Now, if he was home he would do a lot of wandering and squeezing out lotion and shampoo, and ripping up papers, and dumping out things. It's also not safe because he could potentially hurt himself, if I can't watch him all the time. That's why it is so stressful every night before Scott gets home. It's that last bit of the afternoon from 3-5:30 where I worry the most. And at night I worry about that time the next day. But then I also worry to get the emails home from school, the phone calls, and generally any report at this time from ANYONE concerning Noah. I'm not getting many positives at this time, and that is scaring me. Then he's having major meltdowns several times a day. On Friday, our Homestead worker counted almost 100 times that Noah hit his temple within an hour. And really, he's done much worse than that. The stress of worrying about his brain, his hearing, his skull... it's horrible. It's horrible. And his little arm is scarred from him biting himself.

Noah is so adorable and sweet. It's really an ongoing traumatic experience to see him going through such a rough time, and to be able to do NOTHING, nothing to stop it. I made a little book for him on Friday. It's really cute. It's a little picture book that I made out of stiff baseball covers... you know the hard plastic ones? I wrote a little rhyme...

It's called
Keeping It Cool
I'm not gonna hit my head
I'm gonna stomp my foot instead.
I'm not gonna bite my arm
I'm gonna keep it safe from harm.
Gonna keep it cool
At Home or at School.

It's kinda dorky, I know, but Noah LOVES it. He absolutely loves it and keeps giving me his leg so I can stomp it for him when we get to that part. I don't know why he won't stomp his own foot, but whatever. It's really cute that he likes it.

I'll see if it helps him. I have secured a little more help for this week with Noah. It's not enough, but it's something. Plus Homestead has upped their hours. That's really helpful. I can always count on the Homestead to be there. Even if they can't make it better, they try really really hard. Thank goodness for people who really care. I've had Homestead workers cry with me even. (and laugh and be really happy too, but we're talking about sad stuff right now... I warned you).

Anyway, I'm really having trouble. It's tough. We're not doing so great right now.

I'm just putting it out there. I don't want to hide it and pretend everything's great today. So pray for Noah please. Specifically that he will stop hurting himself. That we will be able to find more community resources. That we will be really happy again. That I can shake the knot of stress off my heart. That Andy and Lucy won't get lost in the shuffle. That Noah won't get lost either. That Noah's life will be really great and happy. If we're praying, let's pray for some miracles too... although lately a tiny improvement would feel miraculous. So let's pray for tiny miracles.

Here are some tiny miracles that you could pray for:
1. That Noah will sit at the table for dinner for 5 minutes one night this week without crying, screaming and pushing the table away. We've been making him do this for awhile. Scott holds him with one arm while he eats with the other. Noah pushes the table away and Andy and I have to keep pushing it back throughout dinner. We are so determined to do this, we just have a conversation while pushing the table back and forth and hopping up and down to bring toys to Noah.

2. That Noah will take three sips or tastes of food this week. Any food, any liquid, even water.

3. That Noah will use his speech this week. Let's see... a tiny miracle would be maybe two words a day that are unprompted. Perhaps a request for something.

4. That Noah will not pull anyone's hair, pinch, bite, or hit anyone more than one time a day this week.

5. That Noah will not have more than two tantrums a day this week.

6. That I will be able to fall asleep before 2:30 am every night this week, 1:30 would be nicer, 3 is more probable, so I'll compromise with 2:30.

7. And the last tiny miracle would be for Lucy to sleep in the late afternoon before Scott comes home so I can focus on Noah and his safety and maybe even get some table work in with him.

8. Heck, I'll throw in one for Andy too. Let's see, how about a tiny miracle for Andy would be that Andy is able to jump on his pogo stick 11 times in a row (his current record is 10). Let's up it to 12. Hey this is prayer, and we can ask for anything, God doesn't HAVE to do it. And Andy has worked so hard on this!

Anyway, those are my prayers for this week. Some silly, some not. All important.

Good thing only a few people read this, or this would probably be a post classified as TMI.

2008-02-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

I am just starting to get into Willa Cather. I have never read more than excerpts from her books, and I am really, really excited to delve into her books. I found in an introduction to Bohemian Girl this paragraph.

Red Cloud may not have looked like much, but for a genius, it was enough. When asked, in a 1921 interview, if Nebraska was "a storehouse of literary material." Cather responded brusquely, "If a true artist was born in a pigpen and raised in a sty, he would still find plenty of inspiration for his work. The only need is the eye to see." Fortunately for Cather, Red Cloud, as unprepossessing as it may have appeared, did indeed have a great deal to offer to a young girl whose intellectual curiosity and strong sense of independence may have been outstripped only by her energy. She made many lifelong friends, including the four Miner sisters, with whom she staged plays and tramped about the undulating countryside outside Red Cloud. (The Miner clan is immortalized as the Harlings in My Antonia.) Cather also had a gift for striking up friendships with adults, and this had a profound effect on her intellectual development. As improbable as it sounds, there was a classics-loving Englishman in town, William Ducker, who clerked in a store; he taught Cather Latin and Greek, and soon she was reading Virgil, Ovid, and Homer. Mrs. Miner exposed Cather to classical music; opera, in particular, was to become a lasting passion for her. And there were the Weiners, a cultivated German-French couple, neighbors whose love for literature inspired Cather to learn French. She of course read widely on her own-- Shakespeare, Carlyle, Dickens, Byron, Poe, George Eliot, Emerson-- and she began to assemble a private library, which ranged from Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress to Louisa May Alcott's Jo's Boys, some volumes inscribed with her signature, "Wm Cather Jr."

Anyway, I just thought it was really neat how the community educated her. I think it shows that when someone is motivated to learn, they will, without being forced. It inspires me with my own children to provide a community for learning and an environment that supports and respects curiosity in all its forms. Anyway, I'll see what I think of her books. I'm am going to go read (when I am taking care of the kids... I sneak in a few pages now and then... so far, I've been able to read quite a lot!)

2008-01-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

Andy: Do good guys have minions?

Scott: No. Only bad guys. (I suppose not technically true)

Andy: Then why is everyone always following ME?

2008-01-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

I went to yoga tonight.
I was a little sad.
I'm trying not to be sad.
But I can't help it.
I just keep thinking how sad it is that Noah can't talk.
And how upset it makes him.
And how I wish he would stop biting and hitting himself.
And pulling people's hair.
I know it's because he's sad that he can't communicate.
He's so frustrated.
The barriers seem so great.
So when I was there, I burst into tears.
I was lying down on my back at the end of class.
And I couldn't stop them from coming.
Even though I was in a public place.
And I was thinking how can we go on?
How can I go on if Noah can't communicate?
How will I do this?
The icon of Christ that lines the dome of our church came into my mind.
And the words from the liturgy, "For He is good and loves mankind."
And that's how we're going to go on.

I went home and looked up where that comes in the liturgy.
It comes at the end of a passage where we are asking God to save us.
And then the next words are this.

PSALM 33/34

READER: I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall be ever on my lips. My soul shall glory in the Lord: let the meek hear and rejoice. Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Approach the Lord and be enlightened, and your face shall never be shamed. This wretched man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and delivered him from all his afflictions.

The angel will stand guard around those who fear the Lord and save them. Taste and see how good the Lord is. Blessed is the man who hopes in him. Fear the Lord, all you his faithful ones, for those who fear him shall want for nothing. The rich have become poor and hungry, but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good. Come, children, hear me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Which of you desires life, and loves to see the good days? Keep your tongue from wickedness, and your lips from deceitful speech; turn away from evil, and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are upon the just and his ears are open to their pleas; the face of the Lord is turned against sinners, to erase their memory from the earth. The just cried out and the Lord heard them, and he delivered them from all their trials. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and he will save the humble in spirit. Many are the trials of the righteous, but out of them all the Lord will deliver them. He protects every bone in their body: not a single one of them will be broken. The death of sinners is painful; those who hate justice shall be damned. The Lord will redeem the souls of his servants, and none of those who hope in him shall be lost.

Wow.

2007-12-13T06:19:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday!!! I just had to blog that Scott gave me the ABBA Number Ones album! I have been wanting this album for forever! I am so excited and the kids and I have been dancing to it already. We are heading up to Jester Park for horseback riding lessons soon, so Darren (Noah's SCL worker and family friend) will also be treated to ABBA all morning!

Scott also gave me something that he and I were so excited to discover... The Melita Perfect Brew 1 cup filter cone and Zanzibar's Decaf Holiday Blend... AND a gift certificate to Lucy.com! Yay! Thanks Scott! I love you!

My mommy also bought me another year of Wondertime magazine (my favorite) and some delicious smelling organic shampoo and conditioner (it smells like lemons).

But the best present of all is to spend my birthday with my little children. Awwww... they are so sweet.

2007-11-20T15:12:00.001-08:00

I went to the third grade class at Hubbell today. I wanted to tell them about Noah because Noah is starting at Hubbell next Monday. It was beautiful in it's very ordinariness. I showed them his baby pictures when he was on life support, and I showed them a feeding tube and how they work. They asked questions, and pretty good ones, too. One of the boys is our neighbor, and he chimed in that Noah enjoys it if you sing "Jingle Bells," which is quite true.

I can't tell you how happy I feel about the welcome he is receiving from our neighborhood school. One teacher told me that she is really happy to be working with Noah with tears in her eyes. One therapist said that she could tell he was so loved and had joy in his life after meeting him and spending time with him. His associate, Kathy, said we had done a good job with him, and that he was such a great kid. The nurse was incredibly encouraging, and we left her today laughing, surrounded by the contents of her office, torn apart to make room for Noah.

The school is basically bending over backwards to welcome him, and it is a relief like I have never felt before. I can't even describe it. I guess it's this feeling that maybe I don't have to be in charge of everything when it comes to Noah. I didn't realize that was even weighing me down! I love homeschooling him, and I still will be homeschooling him for two days a week plus every afternoon. Knowing that others are going to help out though, and that those others are incredibly helpful, kind, and sincerely good people, is enough to rebuild some trust again.

That seems to be my lesson for the year... both with Lucy and her extremely positive medical experience, then Noah and the positive school experience. Maybe I'm not in this alone. I never really have been in it alone. I have always had my family and friends around me to support us, pray for us, listen to me whine and vent, and to be faithful birthday party attenders! And we have had the Homestead and our nurse... and our doctors too (who have even given us their personal numbers, mind you). But now we have other people too.

That is what I am thankful for this year. I am thankful for the safety net, the smiling faces, the people who "get it." The people who see what it is that I am trying to do, which is to raise happy healthy kids in spite of sometimes unhappy, unhealthy circumstances. And thanks to God and the safety net, it seems to be working.

When I asked the kids who would want to read to Noah, they all wanted to. One little boy said, "I'm sad that I won't get to know Noah because I am moving away, and now that I've heard about him... I really want to get to know him." And I replied, "I'm sad about that too." Because I could tell, he gets it. He is only in third grade, but he understands what it is to meet someone who has worked through 1600 therapy appointments to get to where he is.

So, today, I just want to thank everybody out there who makes up our safety net. You give us support in practical ways, but most importantly, you do it with a smile and you are so joy affirming.

As the disabled, little Tiny Tim said in Dickens Christmas Carol, "God bless us, every one."

2007-11-12T11:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here's the story of how we came to march in a parade for Barack Obama.

Scott has been wanting to see Obama at least ONE time. It's a pretty huge milestone for America to have a black presidential candidate who has a decent chance. And he's against the war (and has been) and is against the death penalty and as Democrats go... he is not too bad. Still am hoping for a pro-life Republican candidate that I can get behind (who will probably disagree with me on EVERYTHING else... but we do have priorities).

Anyway so it's the THIRD time we've tried to go see him, because the other two times we literally showed up about 5 minutes after he left. It was getting to be a thing.

So Scott signed us up to go last Saturday.

Um, I've been a registered Democrat for all of two seconds, and I know NOTHING of how they do things. Apparently there's this big Jefferson Jackson dinner... it's the Democratic equivalent of the Ames Straw Poll. Well, hee hee... that's what the rally was for.

I still was clueless even through Barack's entire speech, the concert, and his wife's speech...

And then they said, "All right, let's make our way up to the auditorium together."

Well we figured we would just go home, since we didn't have tickets for the dinner and had NO IDEA what it was anyway. Well, wouldn't you know we follow the crowd out the door and we are in this huge mass of people... probably one to two thousand! And they are all yelling, "Fired Up! Ready to go!" And "Obama 08."

And then the Isiserettes (a local African American youth drumline and dance troupe) started playing and dancing and then everyone was really into it. And Scott and I just looked at each other and laughed. We were in a parade! for Barack Obama! And it was a long parade and it was totally fun.

We were all dancing (we had the kids and Aunt Marie with us) and yelling. I am not even really an Obama supporter, but I thought "What the heck..." and just got into it.

And for a moment, I just got caught up in how utterly COOL it was for all the black kids there,, playing their instruments to have a candidate that was perhaps the closest to being president that any black person has ever come. And I just started to cry about how neat it was. And it made me realizing that I really like marching for things... the only two times I have protested before were to hold signs for a "Life Chain" to protest abortion and also once I hung up a gigantic sign (like 4' by 6') on my front porch. On that sign I painted "Pray for Terri" when Terri Schiavo's situation was in the courts (damn courts allowed her to be killed too! Oh that just makes me so mad!)

Anyway, I felt sort of like a hired mourner.. you know the ones that they hire to march behind the casket and make a huge ruckus. But of course, no one was mourning. Anyway, it was a teensy bit like a civil rights march, and in a sense it was. It was the culmination of a lot of civil rights marches, and lots of hard fights from minorities to get Senator Obama where he is today.

I did have a feeling in the pit of my stomach though that perhaps abortion disproportionately affects minorities, and that made me sad. I really feel, as I've said before, not quite "IN" with any presidential candidate.

Maybe, as James Dobson said, I should just not vote this election. But somehow that just doesn't seem right either.

Crunchy conservative, or pro-life liberal. Maybe that's what it was like to be a Southern abolitionist. Well, I guess I'm not too upset that I don't fit in anywhere. I never really have. It's just hard when you want to be (as George W. so eloquently put it) a uniter not a divider. :)

2007-11-10T05:17:00.001-08:00

Now here's a Da Vinci code that I can get behind!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/11/09/italy.davincicode.ap/index.html

I LOVE stuff like this!

2007-11-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

How does your brain see this? Post a reply and let me know.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html

2007-11-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

Well, let me just say that I have never liked Pat Robertson too much. But as a fellow Christian I usually agreed with at least half of what he stood for. Today, that is no longer the case.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/11/07/conservatives.endorsements/index.html

According to this article, Pat Robertson is endorsing Giuliani! What? How can this be? I too like Giuliani, and admire how he handled 9/11, but he's prochoice! I could never vote for a prochoice republican! I mean, what is the point of being a Republican if you aren't going to be pro-life...

To me, this shows what I have felt for a long time, that some Christians care more about keeping the war going than caring about the unborn...

I've said before and I will say it again. If it's a pro-choice Democrat versus a pro-choice Republican, I am voting Democrat. Because at least under Democrats fewer abortions are committed and there's a lot of other great things that Democrats stand for that I really believe in. So far I have voted pro-life in every election... to the exclusion of all other issues.

Honestly, I will vote for Hillary over Giuliani. I will! Grrrrr.

2007-10-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

Yay! Jacob Allen was found! I was praying so hard!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/18/hiker.found.ap/index.html

I hope that he recovers well.

2007-09-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we leave for vacation! Yay! After making our plans several times ranging from Chicago, to NYC, to Disney World we decided to go South. We are going to go to Dallas first to visit our family and especially our new little niece Amelie, then we are going to go to San Antonio... and after that, we don't know yet!

I hope to keep my blog posted throughout our vacation. We'll see if that actually happens!

Anyway, it's packing and errand running time, then hopefully a trip to the gym, then more packing, cleaning and organizing, and then bed and then we leave! Of course we will have to get coffee before we leave town, but that's a given.

Have a nice week y'all.

2007-09-07T07:16:00.001-07:00

Here is another article about evangelicals converting to Orthodoxy.

http://blogs.wsj.com/informedreader/2007/08/23/former-evangelicals-expand-the-orthodox-church/