Whew. This was a busy day. Soooo, lately I've not been feeling super great... swollen and painful lymph nodes and just really tired. Well, I've been playing catch up from last weekend, which was so busy we didn't even have time to get groceries! Not good! So, our lunch pickings were very very slim. This morning before school, I went to check Andy's lunch to make sure that he has an adequate lunch and OH MY GOODNESS: this is where it is clear that my poor children suffer sometimes with me as their mother. He has a small paper grocery bag with tortilla chips put in the bottom just loosely, a whole carrot, two dried pineapple rings, and no drink. "Mom we're out of juice boxes and kefir smoothies." So, I give him money to buy milk (school lunch has stuff he's allergic to, so I can't just buy him lunch, plus I can't leave Noah with the Homestead worker because of liability). THEN I noticed he's packed himself a note that says, "I will always be there for you." That's right, he's given HIMSELF a note; he said, "I packed one for myself because you never have time to put a note in my lunch anymore." So after collapsing in grief and guilt (okay not really, but I felt like it!), I repackage his lunch with slightly better ingredients ( I added pretzels and peanut butter for dipping) and actual containers and send him off to the school (with the neighbor... see I have to depend on everyone which also adds to my guilt load, because I can't do all of it, but so grateful to my neighbor!).

So a couple of hours later I went to La Mie to surprise Andy with an awesome lunch out of the blue. I bought a giant delicious sandwich, a macaroon, and a San Pellegrino aranciata (his favorite), put it in a bag and wrote a big long gushy note on the side complete with heart. Lucy and I went over to Hubbell and had him come down to the office. When I gave it to him, his face lit up like you wouldn't believe. I hugged him and told him, "You are my sweet Andy, my amazing boy, you are so precious to me and one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to me. I believe in you and I hope that you have a wonderful day and that you know how MUCH I love you. Because I do. Very very much." He gave me a huge hug and ran off. As Lucy and I were leaving, I hear the slap slap slap of shoes come back down the hall and he comes up behind me and says, "I just want to give you another hug, Mom. And Lucy too." So he hugged us both for a long time and went back to class.

I thought about the incident a lot today. I do lunch "checks" periodically and he usually has a decent lunch, but I've certainly quit making them for him daily. He does it all himself. I made my lunch from about 8 years old and on so I certainly think it's doable and perfectly acceptable. I try to have good supplies for him, but sometimes it's not necessarily adequate and sometimes he doesn't feel like packing protein, so I make him add something even if it's just a piece of cheese.

But the note. The NOTE! Oh my goodness. I had no clue how important getting that note from me was. And how sweet he is to pack his own note because he thought he needed one that day for encouragement. Bless his sweet, resilient, smart, little heart. While I feel that I need to improve my attention to detail and realize the impact a few words of love and encouragement from me actually make in his life, I am so proud of him for knowing what he needs and getting it for himself. I didn't really know that he had that skill for emotional things, and I'm glad he does.

Needless to say, after I quit writing this, I'm going to spend the next half hour making little notes for his lunch so he never has to give himself a lunch note again. I love that little kid. I hope that I am a consistent enough parent and that he knows deep down how very much I love him.