As promised, here is a collection of some embarrassing moments that have happened to me over the years. Enjoy!

1. Christian school girl goes to public school:

Alright, so I grew up in a very protective home where my innocence was preserved! In other words, I didn't know diddly squat about swear words, slang terms, etc.

Weeeeeell, my parents happened to have a Bible study every Thursday evening where I would babysit the little kids and chat with adults during fellowship time.

I was a chatty little thing (well not so little, a slightly chubby 7th grader at the time) and there was one particular funny man that always told funny stories and laughed a lot named Eddie. I am glad this happened when I was talking to Eddie, because Eddie had a really good sense of humor. So Eddie was wearing a green shirt and it was Thursday. Well, I had just learned that if you wear a "green shirt on Thursday" it meant you were "horny". I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what that word meant, but I proceeded to tell him that! His face registered complete shock! My face went white because this normally jovial guy is speechless and my stomach sank. What did I just say?? Then his bearded face crumples into this huge laugh, like guffawing, rolling, can't talk laughs. He said, "Do you even know what that means?" I said, "No, I assumed it had something to do with toads." (Yeah, I was cool! And also, why was I calling him a toad?) To which he then laughs for a full minute holding his stomach.

Then he calls his wife over, "Debi! Holly has something to tell you!" I then repeated it and she starts laughing too, but neither person will tell me what it means and say that I need to get that information from my parents. I ask them later and spent the next year or so in horror that at my Dad's BIBLE STUDY I called a grown man horny... you know, like a toad, duh! Yeah. I'm like a rock star, I'm so cool!

And that's only the beginning!

Here's one of my many embarrassing parenting moments. This is not really embarrassing so much as a parenting low point. I am thankful for guardian angels.

2. Okay, so Andy was one and he could walk. If you know Andy, you can assume that he was as energetic, wild, and intelligent as he is now only at a one year old developmental level.

I was loading Noah up in the car to take him to a doctor's appt. My sister Marie was there to watch Andy when I was gone. I ran inside to quick call the dr.s office to tell them I was running late, when we realized that neither one of us had Andy. We looked all over the house and yard, the attic, everywhere. I was outside screaming for him, telling him to come home for a treat and everything I could possibly think of. I ran out to the street where two nuns (one in full habit) were carrying him up the street straight for our house. They had been driving down the street and there was little Andy dancing around in INGERSOLL AVENUE. Yes, you read that correctly. Two nuns. And how did they know where we lived? See! Angels, I tell you! Oh, I was so relieved. After that, we bought a lock for the gate, had a security system put in, and we don't even park in the garage anymore because I don't ever want anything like that to happen again!

And for months after whenever we were driving, Andy would point to the street and say, "Run! Run!"

Here's a third embarrassing story for your entertainment:

3. Holly sells Candy Bars--- well not quite.

This is ironic because it is a story that deals with fundraising which I am currently doing right now for the Susan G. Komen foundation.

But when I was a kid, I was raising money for Talented and Gifted programs. And they had us sell these HUGE boxes of candy. Back then, kids just went door to door to perfect strangers. It was no big deal.

So, I get all excited to sell candy with my friend Amy. We go to our first house and knock on the door.

We knock and knock and finally this curmudgeonly guy opens the door. At that time, I was supposed to say, "Hi, we are selling candy bars for the Talented and Gifted Program! We will be traveling to Chicago this spring. Would you like to purchase some candy?" INSTEAD of doing THAT, I instead start laughing. It wasn't a normal laugh it was sort of like a shrill machine gun laugh. And I kept trying to take a breath and talk, but then I would do my little "Hir Hir Hir Hir Hir Hir Hir Hir" laugh again. My friend was frozen too just staring at me wondering what she should do. So the curmudgeonly guy slams the door in our faces. At that point, I stopped laughing. And silently walked down the porch and onto the sidewalk. I think I ate the whole box of candy myself and had my parents write a check.