Monday, January 03, 2005
I think that it is time to say goodbye to law school. I LOVE learning, and I like the idea of becoming a lawyer, but it limits me. I want to be around more--even though I was only a part time student. I really miss being able to cook dinner more often and take Andy and Noah fun places. I miss being able to see my Nana and just be able to hang out. I miss being able to sleep at night because I am always thinking of how much I miss being fully involved with my children at every step of the way.
I asked Andy if he wanted me to stay at home to be his Mommy all the time and he said, "Yeah! That'd be really fun!" That is how I feel too. HARD, but FUN. And I will not ever ever feel guilty about delaying a career. Plus, I miss all the time I had to exercise, be creative, and just call people.
I am ready to be at home again. Law school was fun--but really not that fun. I saw the "world". I learned some new things. But one thing I learned is that I don't EVER want to say, I couldn't do something with my children because I had to study or work. I MISS my family!!!
This time though, I am not going to feel guilty if we watch TV sometimes. I am not going to always have an agenda of things that need to be done. I want to live in the moment. I want to be centered and calm and have a peaceful happy home. I want my family to love coming home. I want to be synonomous with my home.
I want to learn to knit better and cook better and mother better and garden better. I want to have an overgrown flower garden. I want to eat breakfast outside with Andy in the spring. I want to walk with Scott. I want to run a marathon again this summer.
The love of children is blossoming again inside of me. I even miss teaching!
I hate piling up school debt when I really don't even know if I want to be a lawyer.
I want to raise my own children. I think that law school worked for our family, but I missed having my brain free for creativity and for other pursuits. I miss reading fun books!
Maybe someday I will go back, but I seriously doubt it. The best decisions I have ever made in my life are:
1. Marrying Scott
2. Having Noah
3. Adopting Andy
4. Turning down jobs or working more hours in order to be with my family
5. Trying law school
6. Getting a degree
7. Running a marathon
8. Becoming Orthodox
9. Taking vacations
10. Buying our house
I believe that deciding to stay at home this year will be another great decision that I will never regret. I will come back and read this in case I ever do try to regret it!
I asked Andy if he wanted me to stay at home to be his Mommy all the time and he said, "Yeah! That'd be really fun!" That is how I feel too. HARD, but FUN. And I will not ever ever feel guilty about delaying a career. Plus, I miss all the time I had to exercise, be creative, and just call people.
I am ready to be at home again. Law school was fun--but really not that fun. I saw the "world". I learned some new things. But one thing I learned is that I don't EVER want to say, I couldn't do something with my children because I had to study or work. I MISS my family!!!
This time though, I am not going to feel guilty if we watch TV sometimes. I am not going to always have an agenda of things that need to be done. I want to live in the moment. I want to be centered and calm and have a peaceful happy home. I want my family to love coming home. I want to be synonomous with my home.
I want to learn to knit better and cook better and mother better and garden better. I want to have an overgrown flower garden. I want to eat breakfast outside with Andy in the spring. I want to walk with Scott. I want to run a marathon again this summer.
The love of children is blossoming again inside of me. I even miss teaching!
I hate piling up school debt when I really don't even know if I want to be a lawyer.
I want to raise my own children. I think that law school worked for our family, but I missed having my brain free for creativity and for other pursuits. I miss reading fun books!
Maybe someday I will go back, but I seriously doubt it. The best decisions I have ever made in my life are:
1. Marrying Scott
2. Having Noah
3. Adopting Andy
4. Turning down jobs or working more hours in order to be with my family
5. Trying law school
6. Getting a degree
7. Running a marathon
8. Becoming Orthodox
9. Taking vacations
10. Buying our house
I believe that deciding to stay at home this year will be another great decision that I will never regret. I will come back and read this in case I ever do try to regret it!
